You were so all over town but still so Crayola brown...

31 AUG 2004 - 7.58a
Last day of August! I'm going to have a party just to celebrate the month of September. It deserves its own party.

I just watched the new Modest Mouse video for "Ocean Breathes Salty." Isaac is a crow with a broken wing that a kid finds in a field of sunflowers. The kid then puts Isaac in a shoebox. If you know me relatively well, you'll have some idea of how much this excited me. I don't know if I ever specifically said I wanted Isaac Brock in a shoebox (I mostly remember it being Marty from the Shins)... but Isaac is short enough that he probably falls into the category of someone I'd like to keep in a shoebox.

A long lost friend of mine from Findlay has emerged as the assistant riding coach at the University of Miami (Ohio). My dear sweet little Chrissy (you may remember her from my Adventures in Babysitting a seventeen year old girl a couple of years ago) emailed me this morning to tell me that her new coach knew me. I haven't really talked to this girl since I left Findlay... and she's one of the people I really spent a lot of time with there. How odd. I guess the only one who could possibly reading this that would care is Princess... I'm talking about Dawn L. And speaking of you, Princess, how's the new job? And the boy? Email me or leave me a message...

30 AUG 2004 - 7.28a
Having the weekend off was really great. I still didn't have enough time to get everything done that needed to be done, but I was semi-productive.

Friday night almost seems like it was forever ago. Phil came over and after much deliberation, we decided to risk seeing some metal bands to get a drink. It was well worth it. I'm sure it gave us enough joke material for the next week... and I got to meet a few more of his friends. We only stayed long enough for me to have two beers (and just long enough to briefly sample the musical stylings of Skeleton Witch) and then we came back here. We watched tv and talked and stuff until the wee hours of the morning.

I slept in a little too much on Saturday, but I still managed to get Pixies tickets. For all I know, the show isn't even sold out yet... doesn't matter if it is or isn't, though. I've got my tickets. I also bought GBV tickets for Detroit on Friday.

Plans with Lacey on Saturday night (and tentatively with Phil, which happily turned into a positive from Phil) included dinner and then off to Akron (again) for Pat Sweany and some other dude's band. Oh, Johnny came, too. Terrible service at dinner. At the Lime Spider, Lacey did the hustle with Pat Sweany on her way to the bathroom. Then Phil showed up which relieved my anxiety... so he got to meet Lacey and stuff. There was a slight change of plans and he ended up taking me home, which probably worked out for the best.

I mostly just took it easy yesterday... not really, though. Got a lot of horse stuff done... napped... had to run out for Starbucks at the last minute... watched the movie Phil left here when he was over on Friday... did some knitting. It was good.

My work week will likely suck. Hoping to see the future boyfriend this week... and then on the weekend, I'm venturing down to his territory which could be exciting. I'm really pleased with the way things are going...

27 AUG 2004 - 8.03a
Life is good. Except for my problems with my stupid job, I can't complain. Newt looked pretty sound yesterday so I'm thinking I might (and this is a big might) hop on him this weekend. Things are going exceptionally well with Phil... tentative plans for tonight, maybe, and hopefully for tomorrow night, as well.

Pixies tickets for Akron go on sale tomorrow. I'm nervous about them but maybe not quite as nervous as I was for Radiohead or GBV's last show. I don't plan on going to the Columbus show, although it would be kind of cool since it's way sooner than the Akron show.

Today's the day that I have to talk to my bitch manager about my shitty shedule. Blah.

26 AUG 2004 - 10.23a
Oh, sigh! Best date ever last night. I don't want to jinx myself by talking about anything... but I had such a nice time. He brought me daisies. I never knew how nice it was to get flowers until I actually got them... and DAISIES. It wasn't like some dope bringing me roses because that would have been queer. This was just nice... daisies and another mix cd. Oh, Lacey. Where are you? I need to talk to you.

I hate my job. I decided it won't be such a big deal if I just walk out one day. That's probably what's going to happen.

Other things are good... Newt got his front feet trimmed and his shoes nailed back on. Hopefully he'll be sound now. The kids at home are all good. August is almost over and that makes me happy.

25 AUG 2004 - 7.34a
I hate my job in the worst way. This is the only job I've ever hated this much before. My feet swell so much now... it's painful and it freaks me out to see my cute little feet looking all plump and disgusting.

Not only that, but my manager is a huge moron. I was told I did the wrong thing when I wasn't sure about taking back a baggie full of beads that somebody claimed was a necklace at some point... I hate being talked down to and I really feel like she talked down to me, when I did everything I thought was right to do in that situation. Then later on last night, my coworker had to return some guy's watch. No big deal. Except the watch looked like it had sticky tape residue on the band (which might have even been from having a tag that wouldn't stay on taped on in the store... so, potentially our fault). Manager was pissed because we accepted the return. Uhhh... bag of beads, okay to return. Sticky watch, not okay. I don't get it.

I could also bitch about my schedule... but I'm going to try to rectify that situation today. If it can't be fixed, then I'm quitting. My feet hurt so bad.

I should start looking for another job today.

GBV has sold out four of the last six shows that I"m going to... I need to buy my tickets for Detroit. Maybe today.

So many things to do today on my day off...

23 AUG 2004 - 12.44a
I suppose it's been a few days. I've been putting in lots of hours at the lame job. And struggling to do everything I want to do with the horses. Exhausting myself. What else is new, though?

I had to stay at work until after ten on Friday. That was really shitty... I'd had a terrible night working alone and then I realized that one of my credit cards was missing which caused a minor panic attack. I was fairly certain I might have left it in the truck when I paid for gas earlier in the day (I had to haul Laura's horse home from the vet, which is why I was driving the stupid truck in the first place). Sure enough, when I looked the next morning, it was indeed in the truck. Whew.

Anyhow. I had to work late, blah, blah, blah. After work, I met up with Phil which was nice. It's so nice to have a boy offer to buy me a beer and not have to even ask what I'm drinking. Bonus points. More bonus points for kissing my hand.

Saturday was rough at work... I didn't get home until very, very late the night before and I had to be up early. I was barely with it at the end of my work day... after I finished with Newt following work, I totally crashed. It was nice to spend some time at home, but I'm home again for the second night in a row and I feel kind of itchy, like I should have gone out. I don't know where I would've gone, though.

I'm making a bunch of CDs tonight. I want to burn one more after this... and then it's off to bed with me. Only two more days left in my six day work extravaganza... I can't wait to take a nap.

18 AUG 2004 - 7.47a
Good morning. I'm tired. I want coffee.

Newt's vet visit went well the other night. Dr. Miller thinks I need to change Newt's shoeing. His toes are way too long, which is something I've thought for the last couple of years... starting a bit before all of his problems started. I'm hoping that if we make the changes, I'll have the same Newt I had when he was showing every weekend and winning everything. It seems like an easy solution, but it might mean firing my blacksmith. Yikes. That makes me a bit nervous. I've used this guy forever.

When I took Newt back to his barn following the vet visit, one of Laura's horses was sick. It made for a very late night for me. VERY late. Ugh. She finally looked better, so I went home after midnight. Yesterday afternoon she started acting weird again, so someone hauled her to the clinic. I hope she's okay... I haven't heard from Laura yet this morning (she's still in Kentucky... I could never be so far away from my sick horse at a clinic!) so I'll assume no news is good news.

Yesterday there was an animal communicator (a.k.a. horse psychic) out at the barn. I told her nothing about Newt before she "talked" to him. Zero. Just his name. She told me that he told her that he doesn't jump as much as he used to and that makes him sad because he loves jumping so much. He also told her that he has a unique jumping style and that sometimes he uses his neck and back too much when he jumps (true) and pulls something in his neck. Very interesting. Newt said that he doesn't much care for other horses because he feels like they invade his personal space and he doesn't want them to tell him what to do. He did mention that there was one horse he was fond of... a girl that was younger, smaller, and the color of the dirt. That would be Lucy. Then he went on to say that he wants to be an only child when the horse with spots is around. Horse with spots? I don't have a horse with spots... so I was confused. The lady asked him to explain... and he said that it was a smaller, spotted horse that competed with him for my attention... oh my god. PHOEBE. While not a horse, she has spots... so I asked her to ask him if he meant a dog. He said yes... that he doesn't like her because she tries to get all of the attention. SO WEIRD. Then at the very end, she mentioned that he told her to tell me that his feet tingle sometimes and that makes him uncomfortable. Very creepy, given he'd been at the vet for a foot problem not even 24 hours earlier. I don't know if this stuff is for real, but if it wasn't, there was just too much coincedence in what Newt had to say. Everything was him to a T.

Work last night was boring. Not much to report there... I'm just happy to be getting paid.

Hopefully I'll be seeing Lacey today! Other than that, I have nothing exciting planned... just the usual stupid stuff. Boring.

16 AUG 2004 - 2.31a
Yo. I had a decent weekend, I guess. I helped Paul win at poker on Friday night by making flowers on the table with all of his chips. I don't know anything about poker.

On Saturday, I worked most of the day. Gah ha ha. Nine hour shift. But I did just fine... had Starbucks on my break and deposited my check. The girl I worked with was pretty cool... she filled me in on all of the work gossip. I didn't think I was going to want to go out following that shift... my feet felt like they were the size of watermelons. I went to Thursday's anyway. Even sitting down, my feet were throbbing. I probably shouldn't have gone, but they have Blue Moon there... so that was slightly comforting.

I was exhausted for most of today. Walked around like a zombie. I got a load of hay and I could barely lift it into the truck. Such a sad excuse of a Meghan today, I tell you.

Tomorrow night I'm taking Newt to the vet. Tomorrow also marks the start of two weeks with Laura's horses. The animal communicator is coming out to talk to them on Tuesday and I have to be there so I can relay what they say to Laura. Great. I might have the communicator talk to Newt... just because he'd probably tell jokes or something. I really should be saving my money, though

I spent most of today feeling very unsettled. It was weird. Maybe it's just that I need rest... but I feel nervous or anxious or something. Oh well... back to bed.

13 AUG 2004 - 9.17a
I don't know why I'm posting this here. I guess because I do know what this guy is talking about... and it made me smile. Anyhow... from my friend "Bruce":

I wish I would have known girls in high school that listened to Pavement. There weren't many cool girls at my high school. Well, there were but they were older and really didn't take a bunch of grubby little skater kids seriously. My class was riddled with Trent Reznor loving sad girls and Green Day fans. That reminds me of an interesting conversation that my best friend and I had about a week ago that involves you in a roundabout way. We were wondering whatever happened to those girls that we thought were so awsome when we were younger. Not those girls specifically, but those type of girls. The ones who were so cool without even having to try. The ones who thought Evan Dando was hot (this was the early/mid 90's ok). They had a certain style that was subtly hip....not too obvious. This is probably making no sense to you. It just seems like girls now are just corny(guys too). You go to shows and see all of these girls with their stupid haircuts and their even stupider shoes and their feminine boyfriends that have the same haircut they do.......

You're maybe wondering by now how this involves you. I know I don't really know you that well but you just sorta remind me of one of those classic cool girls. I mean I don't know if you had Evan Dando pictures on your wall. With all the horse posters you probably didn't have room. Anyway, I think you're an endangered species. You're like the grainy photographic evidence of Bigfoot just as he disappears back into the treeline. Not that you resemble Bigfoot in any way, I was just trying to be clever. Anyway, I'm not sure where I'm going with this anymore, you just would have had to have been there for the conversation. And you probably would have had to have been a male friend of mine when I was 15 and gone to my high school for this to make any sense to you. Next subject.

Yeah. That was from a message I received this morning. I had to laugh when I read it, mainly because I had a picture of Evan Dando taped up next to my bed when I was 14 or 15. And because I'm happy I'm different. Thank you for making me feel special this morning, "Bruce."

Kind of lame posting someone else's message to me as my entry... but I'm thinking of it as though I'm putting a picture I like on the wall. If it's something I don't mind looking at, I'm happy to look at it all the time. Kind of like having Evan Dando on my wall.

Work tonight... hopefully going out or something after work. Then a loooong day at work tomorrow. Gah. Anyhow. I should get started on my day.

12 AUG 2004 - 3.46p
Everything is good. Haven't been to see Newt today... but right now, I'm completely happy with life. I wish I had a better job, but I'm not totally hating my new one as much as I was the first day. Although the stupid woman I worked with this morning stole THREE of my sales. Gah. I'll never make my GPA at that rate.

Yesterday, Lacey and I lunched then yarn shopped then stopped for coffee. We made no yarn purchases because we were both feeling very indifferent about the sale yarn. Lacey came back over later on to do some knitting and I don't even know why she thought about buying yarn... she has ungodly amounts of it. I helped her with knitting and I think she had a major breakthrough... she can purl! I can't wait to see what she makes next.

Paul, Courtney, Dale and Sara (I apologize if your name has an H) came over around 11. I think the intent was to cook on the grill (Paul bought meat and beer and other stuff) but since it was so late, we mostly just ended up drinking. Although I know a frozen dinner was made and I have less cheese than I had yesterday. Courtney brushed Lucy in her stall and fed her carrots. Phoebe wandered around in the dark while we sat on the deck drinking and smoking. Such a fun evening!

OH! And the best part was dressing Paul up in my clothes. I have totally incriminating pictures. I should post them... maybe later.

I'm pretty sure the results are in... denim jackets and jeans do not mix. The informal poll seemed to show that people favoring such a combination also favor whores (at least, I think that's what the survey said... or Bob Pollard said... or something). Huge fashion faux pas.

11 AUG 2004 - 4.22p
Denim jackets with jeans. Yay or nay? Discuss.

11 AUG 2004 - 12.59p
Today started off poorly. Lunged Lucy this morning and she got loose (I challenge you to hang onto a thousand pound baby horse when she wants to go elsewhere) which prompted a fight with my mom. Somehow loose baby horses turned into her telling me to get a better job (okay... I've been employed for what? A week?) which turned into her picking on a million and one other things. Health insurance! Spending an insane amount of money on GBV tickets! Newt's lame!

So, sigh. I hope the rest of the day goes a little better.

Making big progress with the baby blue scarf. I think that when I go yarn shopping with Lady L(acey) today, I might venture into the world of the round knitting needles and maybe try to make a hat. Scarves are easy shmeasy and I need a different project to work on... something that requires a little more thought or something. I could do a scarf blindfolded now.

And oh yes, my GBV NYE tickets arrived this morning. It is delightful to see them in real life and hold them! Hooray GBV! Hooray David!

10 AUG 2004 - 12.41p
My second day at work was so much better than the first. I'm not saying I completely love the job yet. I don't. And I doubt I ever will. It was just a lot better yesterday. The people I worked with were actually nice and not sales-stealing sharks.

Following work I stopped at Paul's unannounced. Dale was there and we all ended up going out for a drink. Beer was only a dollar twenty-five! So we stayed out for a few drinks, heard some really terrible jukebox music played by some guy who was totally at the first Lollapalooza. Then back to Paul's and we decided we needed food... long story short (because I don't feel like typing right now), we ate then all of the boys played Fight Club (Bob, Bob's brother, Dale and Paul) and I got sleepy and went home at four in the morning.

I have today and tomorrow off... hoping to go yarn shopping with Miss Lacey on one of my off days. Yay, yarn!

08 AUG 2004 - 5.19p
My first day of shitty work is OVER. Did I hate it? Yes. But I did get to work with a crazy old German woman. I didn't have a chance to tell her that her Ufo ist toll. Next time.

So... the events of the weekend were kind of crazy. Not crazy like "waaaaaaaahoooooo, party" crazy. More like "my life feels like a movie" crazy. Things are going to get weird. I can just feel it in my bones. Damn me for having a crush... I totally just wanted it to be harmless and nice. Something to keep my mind off of all the crap I've previously had to deal with. The plan of a quiet, innocent crush backfired a bit and now I'm not sure what to do.

I really like that I can write about my life on my blog again. Maybe I need to ask David about possibly changing the appearance of it... he's just so busy with his Lady L lately...

07 AUG 2004 - 1.39p
I love knitting. I should be knitting now... but first an update.

Yesterday Lacey and I did a lunch (which left me with a horrible, rumbling, digesting tummy) and then a shopping trip. We went to the yarn store, which was quite a successful outing. I picked up several skeins of a lovely baby blue yarn which is knitting really well. There was also a yarn the color of raspberry sorbet that I wanted terribly, but I don't think it would look quite as nice with my camel coat as the baby blue. I might go back and get it, anyway, just to have it for another future project. Maybe I could do a bag or something with it.

We went to the mall to go shoe shopping... scored some shoes on sale at Dillard's (damn me for not having an employee discount yet!) and a skirt and top (super marked down!) at another store. I love new clothes.

Last night was miserable! But in a weird kind of "I'm so happy I don't live in Brooklyn anymore" kind of way. Went to some Brooklyn bar for some girl's birthday to see some (bad) bands play. I was not prepared for how god awful the bands were. I was also not prepared to drink (see rumbly tummy earlier in this entry) but after a ginger ale, I felt okay enough to drink a beer or two. The bands continued to suck and I was happy to leave early, although apparently all of the action happened after I was gone. But isn't that always the case?

Tonight I might stop by a weenie roast at Lacey's fam's house. Lacey loooooooves weenies. (weinies?) Then after that... off to Akron. Yee haw. Work starts tomorrow... fucking fuck.

05 AUG 2004 - 3.11p
I LOVE HAIRCUTS.

I love the girl who cuts my hair. This is the second time she's cut it... and it's just as good as the first time. Nothing makes me feel better than a new haircut.

Well. Almost nothing. Getting New Year's Eve tickets for GBV is better. My ulcers are as good as gone. Now I just have to worry about other silly GBV shows... I'm going to get my credit card and order those now, I think.

Oh. And Newt is lame. Again. Not the same thing as last time. Today he was lame on the right front... this is an entirely new lameness. How lame. I'm going to give it a couple of days before I decide what to do about the vet.

I'm absolutely dreading having to go into work tonight. It's register training day... doesn't that sound exciting? I'm rethinking my estimation of three months... I bet I hang around for two. I hope that a better real job comes along in that time. Gah.

Lots of plans for the weekend. I have no idea if I'll also have to work. Stupid job.

04 AUG 2004 - 9.46p
One more day of training left for my miserable new job. I predict that I won't last longer than three months there. I'm going to hate it. When will I be able to stop sending resumes???

Modest Mouse last night was a good time. I arrived late due to day one of gay work training... I was pulling into the parking lot as they were playing "Float On." I ran from my car to the stage in time to hear "Interstate 8"... which was nice. What I saw of the show was pretty decent, I guess. Isaac seemed in good spirits and he mentioned how earlier in the day, he'd driven past they place they used to play in Cleveland... Speak in Tongues. Weird. I say it every single time I see Modest Mouse, but I'm so happy I got to see them there first. There were a lot of people at the show last night... more than I was expecting.

They mostly played new songs, which was perfectly fine except I don't know if they didn't play track 10 or if I missed it. Bah. They played cockroach and trailer trash and neverending math equation. And paper thin walls and wild packs of family dogs. I'm sure I missed a bit. The rest of the songs were all new. And the encore was kind of lame... slow songs and they finished with neverending math equation. Blah.

I have other news, but I'm hesitant to share it here just yet. I have a feeling my ulcers will be going away soon.

02 AUG 2004 - 10.13a
Fuck everything. Seriously. Fuck it all. Life is only getting worse even though I have a shitty job now.

I don't even want to talk about GBV tickets. I will cry.

Um... and one of my friends is starting to make me uncomfortable. In a creeped out sort of way.

Fuck August.